She is in Heaven now, Mama

She is.  Oh, yes.

Did she fly to Heaven, Mama?   

They try to picture it in their minds…

She had cancer, Mama, and we prayed for her every single day, and she died.

Oh, this was a hard season.  We love this family.

She died.  But, that doesn’t mean her life is over.  It means she is in Heaven now, right, Mama?

Every single morning, we gather together, my three Little Ones and I, and we clasp our hands together, and cry out to Father-God to heal our little friend.  Oh Jesus, please…

Mama, will she die?

I remember the first time my girls ask me this.  Looking at me with wide-eyes.  Little Man, playing with his puzzles, stopping, looking up and staring intently at me.  What will I say?

I don’t want her to die.  I don’t even want to think about her mommy and daddy not being able to hold her and cuddle her and laugh with her.  I don’t want her to go.  My heart hurts so deeply for this family.   I weep often.  The tears just come…

Mama, Father-God can heal her.  He can take her cancer away.

We pray fervently, day after day, simple faith of Little Ones talking to their Abba Father. We know Father-God can do anything.  We try to understand what He is doing.  We are asking for faith to believe no matter what.  We are begging for grace.

Lord, have mercy on us.

And the word comes in the morning; a group of us are all together, weeping.  My Little Ones are holding me close.  She is gone…

Father-God has healed her, Mama.  

My Little Ones are trying to understand.  We all are.  Sometimes, healing means Father-God takes us Home sooner than we ever expected.   And healing means we never ever suffer again.  Oh, but this is hard.  This is so hard.  Father-God, help us with this pain in the in between time…as we are still here, and she is forever free.  And we just want to see her Mommy and Daddy hold her again…

What is she doing right now, Mama?  Oh, I can imagine her laughing in Jesus’ lap!   Mama, her cancer is gone forever now!   She really is healed because in Heaven there is no cancer so she is better, Mama.  She has a body that is new and she will never ever be hurting again…Mama, is she flying with the angels right now?!

We talk about her often.  And we continue to pray for the whole family.

My Little Lady says this journey was a burden.  She has never used that word before.  My Littlest Lady grows quiet and her eyes are shining as she realizes that we will all get to see her one day…we play the song that we learned at her memorial service one more time, and we dance:

This is not the end, this is not the end of us…we will shine like the stars, bright, brighter….*

And my Little Man comes up close, cups my face in his hands, and says to me in Armenian, Mama, Father God gave her wings to fly on to Heaven…

*Gungor

Tags: Armenian, cancer, dance, death, dying, faith, Father-God, healing, Heaven, little ones, prayer, Sing, song, teaching, wings to fly